


We're not lovers

by Justayne



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Childhood Friends, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, smut (you'll miss it if you blink)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 09:48:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11598099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justayne/pseuds/Justayne
Summary: Thanks for reading !English is not my first language, sorry. Feel free to ask prompts for any Shadowhunters Ship on my tumblr (santiagayforlewis)





	We're not lovers

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading !
> 
> English is not my first language, sorry. Feel free to ask prompts for any Shadowhunters Ship on my tumblr (santiagayforlewis)

Simon had always been a sweet boy, a little too nice even, but that’s what made him meet his best friend, Raphael Santiago. It had started like a usual day, when he was ten. Simon was playing in a park while his mother chatted with her friends when older boys had come to annoy him because they wanted his toys. They were so mean towards him, they almost hit him when a tiny Mexican came to his rescue. It didn’t take more than a few seconds and one of them had a nosebleed while all the other ran away crying. Simon learned a few things about the smaller boy fast. 1) He defended him because these shithead had done the same to one of his little brothers, he was eight, ans his name was Raphael Santiago. Simon liked the name and he never let him go. He became his best friends and they were a duo that no one could take apart, or that was what they thought. Two people could break them apart and it was them.

It was the two of them against the world until Simon went in high school because he became pretty popular for a nerd. Well, one of their neighbors, Clary Fray, went in the same school and they soon became friends. Along with Isabelle, Alec, Magnus, Maia and Jace. Simon talked a lot about them, at first. About the cute relationship that Magnus and Alec had and the complicated one that Jace and Maïa had. Raphael, him, had Lily and Eliott as friends at first. Who were, too, a couple. But Simon and Raphael saw each other less and less each weeks. And now that they’re in the same high school, it’s pretty weird.

 

* * *

 

When they were fourteen and sixteen, that’s when Raphael understood something. After being friends with Simon Lewis for like, six years, he understood that he was head over heels for the boy. Everyone seemed to be aware of this, except for Simon. He must be blind or something like that, or maybe just dumb. The thing is, Simon was in love with him too, but Raphael hadn’t noticed it. He was too busy making a pity party to see his fond looks. So, Simon being the shy and subtle man he could be when he wanted to, that is to say when he talked about his crush with Raphael, the both of them didn’t notice a thing. One day, when they were in the Mexican’s room, Simon wrote on a chalkboard theses words: _I love you_ , just before sitting next to the boy. “ _I think we should practice, you and me._ ”

 

Raphael looked at him, an eyebrow raised before the tossed his book aside. _“And I can ask what for?_ ”

 

“ _Kissing!_ ” Simon exclaimed, a little bit too enthusiastic and for a moment, Raphael thought that Simon was kidding. But he wasn’t. He watched him in the eyes for a little while, but was forced to look away after a few seconds because his look was so intense, as if he could see right through him. It was too much. His eyes were glued on the chalkboard for a little while because.. It must be only friendly, right? The wonderful Simon Lewis couldn’t be in love with him. Bland Raphael. It was too good to be true. Finally, he took a deep breath before slowly nodding.

 

“ _Okay._ ” He said and he didn’t have to wait a few seconds that now, his lips were on his.

 

The kiss was short, but it clearly wasn’t the last. There was more, and more. Sometimes, just in front or Guadalupe, his brother, Elaine or Rebecca. More and more people asked if they were together. Every time Simon said that they were, in fact, not together, Raphael could feel his heart break a little more.

 

* * *

 

They were fifteen and seventeen, one year after they started kissing and making-out when Simon had asked Raphael to come at his, when he was home alone. It could be seen as a perfectly innocent question, that’s how Raphael had seen it at first, but he understood soon enough that it was, in fact, not innocent at all. As soon as he entered the house, Simon was all over him, kissing him deeply. He pressed him against the wall, full of passion and Raphael knew where that was leading them: sex. They had already done a few things that we could say were sexual (handjobs, blowjobs, theses things), but they never had gone all the way.

 

Simon wasted no time before leading them to the bedroom and on Simon’s bed. He took off all of their clothes, before taking a look at Raphael. He was beautiful. He kissed his skin, his hands caressing his caramel-like skin. His tongues traced the letters of the word _love_ on his torso while he searched for a lubricant bottle. It didn’t take long for them to reach their orgasms, Raphael clawing at Simon’s back and Simon deep inside of Raphael. It was just like that that they didn’t only gave their heart to the other, but also their virginity.

 

And where they were cuddling, Raphael was nearly saying that he loved Simon when the other said something. “ _I’m happy that my first time was with you. If it was with someone that I dated and it was weird, I would have been so ashamed._ ” And Raphael faked his sleep, but inside, his heart was bleeding.

 

After this, they seemed to see each other less and less. They stopped kissing and Raphael thought that he did something wrong, that he messed everything up. He thought that Simon understood that Raphael loved him, that everything was weird because of this. Or maybe he was just studying for his exams. Who know? So, when the Bane’s family was invited for dinner at the Santiago and Magnus Bane talked about Simon, Raphael was eager to hear what he had to say about this. But when he heard what he had to say, he thought that he should never had asked. He talked about the new couple between his friends, how much they were cute. Clary and Simon, their names fitted so good together, right? If Raphael cried all night in his mother’s bedroom, telling all about his and Simon’s story, no one has to know.

 

* * *

 

Simon tried to talk to him again, when they were in holidays, but Raphael never answered. He wasted all of his time stalking every Simon and Clary’s account on social network. They seemed so in love, like him and Simon were once. But his mama told him to avoid Simon at all cost because he was a manipulative bastard. She told him that he took advantages of his feelings to get what he wanted: get in Raphel’s pants. And now that he had it, he moved to another poor victim. Poor Clary, she said.

 

One day, he was waiting for Rosa to get out of her football’s practice to go eat ice cream with her, when Simon arrived, smiling. Simon was looking for him apparently and seemed relieved to find him.

 

“ _Raphael!”_ He exclaimed when he was facing him, while Raphael was trying to stay mute. “ _I missed you so much! Why aren’t you answering my texts or my calls? Even when I knocked on your door..._ ” He sighed.

 

“ _Oh yeah, so you care now?_ ” He rolled his eyes. “ _Seriously, we haven’t talked to each others for_ _ **months**_ _. Haven’t you got something to do ? Like go with your girlfriend and tell her you love her oh-so-very much?”_ He spitted, glaring at him.

 

“ _No, not really. Clary’s at the summer camp with the Lightwoods and Wayland. So… I won’t see them at all. I thought we could see each other? Like the good old time..”_

 

“ _So you can screw me over again? Writing love confessions on a chalkboard and on my body so you can see a ginger haired bitch? No thanks.”_

 

He didn’t care to listen to Simon talk, he ran away too fast anyway. He texted his sister to say that he saw Simon and had to go home. They still had their ice cream, even though it was in front of the TV, watching cheesy movies.

 

* * *

 

Now, Raphael was in the same high school as Simon and he – sadly – integrated the same group of friends. Well, he talked a lot with Magnus, Jace and Alec, but was most of the time with Ragnor and Lily. Who were also friends with Simon and all. Which sucked. Every time he saw Simon and Clary act live lovesick puppies, he wanted to throw up. Magnus and Jace were always trying to cheer him up, though, and he appreciated it a lot. They shipped Saphael, too, even though Raphael told them that the relationship was dead.

 

What was ironic was that Clary cheated on Simon with Isabelle and they broke up. It was ironic because that’s how it was with them at first. They were so cute and someone came in the picture. Weirdly, that’s when Simon tried to talk to him again, at first, trying to be friends, but every time Simon talked to Raphael, he left. Once, they were stuck together because the both of them were late. Of course, Simon sat right next to him.

 

“ _We need to talk.”_ Had said Simon seriously.

 

“ _No, we do not.”_ Raphael said bitterly and tried to go away, but Simon took his wrist.

 

“ _Please, listen to me._ ” Simon pleaded. “ _Raphael, something changed in you. Toward me. You’re distant, cold.”_ He started, sighing. “ _I don’t know what I’ve done, but I’ll leave you alone from now on if that’s what you want. Is that what you want? You know why I’d leave you alone?”_ He asked and Raphael nodded his head no. “ _‘Cause I care about your feelings more than mine.”_

 

Raphael wanted to believe him, really, but all theses years, after the relationship with Clary… Their had been messed up more and more each day.

 

“ _You cared about my feelings more than yours when you dated Clary, after all we’ve been through?”_

 

“ _I was scared Raphael. I panicked when we made love. I thought you didn’t love me and that I love you too much. Then, Clary came to say that she had feelings for me and it was the perfect loophole. But as the times passed, I realized a thing.”_ He continued, his eyes becoming more and more teary. “ _I love you, Raphael. There, I said it. Not just in some chalkboard, not on your skin. I don’t want to make you suffer anymore. Damn, I would never let anybody or anything hurt you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”_ His voice croaked at the end and Raphael bit his lips.

 

“ _Come here._ ”

 

And that was the last sentence Raphael said before kissing sweetly the boy.


End file.
